**🔼 Up:** [[Character Strategies]] **⏺️ With:** [[Sensitive-Withdrawn Character Strategy]] **\#️⃣ Tags:** #Psychology #Psychotherapy #Character > **🌱 Planted:** Mon 21 July 2025 --- # Overview | Category | Core Belief | Energetic Flow | Barriers | Needs | Strengths | Other Names [^1] | | -------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------- | | Safety-Seeking | I must be seen to be safe. If I lose connection, I will be overwhelmed or destroyed. Love disappears, so I must hold on tightly. | Underbounded (loose, emotionally diffuse, permeable boundaries) | Insight & Nourishment (hard to take in contact) | To be seen and met. To pierce the veil of separateness and feel human warmth, clarity, and contact | Emotionally sensitive, expressive, relationally attuned, passionate, capable of deep connection, socially aware, able to navigate intensity, creative, enthusiastic | Oral (Reich, Lowen), Merging (Kessler), Hysterical, Histrionic | The Sensitive-Emotional [^2] strategy is part of the 'Safety-Seeking' category of character styles, and it forms when a baby's early experience of love and safety is disrupted. It is similar to the [[Sensitive-Withdrawn Character Strategy|Sensitive-Withdrawn]] pattern in the sense that it forms in the early years of life (from birth up until around six months old), yet instead of existing from the beginning, it forms slightly later when the baby has some kind of experience and trust in the world being a safe place, but this is then lost through some disconnection or [[Trauma]]. Where the Sensitive-Withdrawn response to rupture is to withdraw and disappear inward, the Sensitive-Emotional response is to reach outward, over and over again, with increasingly heightened emotion, desperate connection and a hope that someone will come. The strategy centres on the need to be [[Empathic Attunement|Empathically Attuned]] to. Yet there is a paradox. Although the child seeks connection with all their might, they find that even when help does eventually come, it doesn't fully soothe them because the early ruptures that took place already undermine trust. The [[Nervous System]] in this strategy is often flooded. There is panic, longing, and intense emotionality, but it can be hard to regulate and rest. The child clings tightly to others because they're terrified of being alone, yet struggles to fully receive the care they long for. It’s like the longing is bottomless, and no amount of contact can fulfil what was missed. Similar to the Sensitive-Withdrawn pattern, the strategy is is a way of surviving in a world that once felt overwhelming, scary and unwelcoming. Despite this, there's still beauty and vitality. Those with this pattern are often passionate, expressive and capable of deep emotional presence. They have the ability to tolerate emotional intensity in themselves, as well as others, and bring warmth, play and relational aliveness wherever they go. They're highly attuned and are able to pick up on subtle emotional and intuitional nuances others might not see. ## The Child's Experience |**Child’s Experience with Caretakers**|**Child’s Adaptive Strategy**|**True Self**| |---|---|---| |“I felt safe for a while, then it disappeared.”|“I’ll cry harder and reach louder so someone comes back.”|“Love and connection can be consistent.”| |“I was left when I needed someone most.”|“I’ll cling to others and stay close so I don’t lose them again.”|“I can be close and also feel secure.”| |“I felt unwanted or pushed away when I showed my feelings.”|“I’ll become more emotional so they see me.”|“My feelings are valid and welcome.”| |“I was overwhelmed and no one helped me.”|“I’ll amplify my needs so someone finally notices.”|“I can ask for what I need and be met.”| |“I felt like love disappeared when I stopped performing.”|“I’ll stay interesting and expressive so people won’t leave.”|“I’m loveable just by being me.”| |“I felt like something was wrong with me when I got left behind.”|“I’ll stay connected no matter what it takes.”|“I can be in relationship and still be myself.”| ## Developmental Origins The Sensitive-Emotional strategy forms in the first year of life, usually after the baby has had some experience of connection and safety, but then loses it. This might be due to abandonment, separation, illness, or other disruptions in the early [[Attachment]] bond. To the child, the emotional shock of that loss is overwhelming and terrifying. Babies in this stage of life need a reliable, dependable and comforting [[Holding Environment]]. If they don't have this, and this strategy develops, this might be due to: - Traumatic experience following an initial secure bond and sense of safety. - Parental illness, depression, or emotional unavailability. - Hospitalisation or medical trauma that interrupts bonding. - A sensitive or easily overstimulated [[Nervous System]]. - Child feels rejected, abandoned, or unwelcome, like there's something basically wrong with him/her. # Characteristics ## The Body The body of someone with a Sensitive-Emotional strategy often reflects a push toward contact. Where the [[Sensitive-Withdrawn Character Strategy|Sensitive-Withdrawn]] body pulls inward and upward, this one reaches outward, particularly through the eyes and upper body. There points to a lack of energetic containment , where there's a risk of losing oneself in the Other ([[Family Enmeshment|Enmeshment]]). The body can appear stiff or frozen, especially in the neck and spine as if trying to hold intensity together. The eyes may be wide, searching, and sometimes desperate with a longing for someone to see and respond. Energy tends to gather in the front of the body, especially around the chest and heart. The [[Nervous System]] is in a high state of arousal, with signs of hyperalertness and emotional flooding. Potential physical traits: - Stiffness or frozen posture, especially in the neck - Eyes that seem to reach out or plead - High sympathetic activation (fight or flight energy) - Panic sensations in the body - Spine may twist to support exaggerated emotionality - Psychosomatic symptoms (headaches, digestion, etc.) - Youthful or emotionally adolescent presentation ## Core Beliefs of Self and World For those with this strategy, the outside world is everything. The self is not a safe home base, so all attention is focused outward... on others, on connection, and on making sure the thread of contact is not lost. Core beliefs may sound like: - “I will die if I lose contact.” - “I’m too much for others.” - “If I’m not passionate, I don’t exist.” - “Everything could change at any moment.” - “The world is harsh, unpredictable, and unsafe.” Emotion dominates with this strategy while thinking may be underdeveloped. There’s often an internal sense of chaos or confusion with a sense of agitation just below the surface. Outward pleasure, stimulation, youthfulness, and drama may feel safer than stillness or quiet, but unspoken the unspoken fear of 'I might be left again' remains underneath it all. ## Relationship Patterns and Behaviours ## How It Protects This strategy protects by keeping the child in motion, both emotionally and relationally. As long as there’s movement, expression, or someone nearby, the unbearable dread of being alone can be held at bay. It serves to: - Help the infant survive emotional overwhelm through seeking contact. - Reduce internal chaos by staying focused on others. - Maintain connection to avoid falling into the abyss of loss or annihilation. ## How It's Reinforced The Sensitive-Emotional pattern tends to reinforce itself in a loop: 1. The person clings emotionally and needs frequent connection. 2. Others begin to feel overwhelmed or suffocated, so they pull away. 3. The person’s core fear is reactivated: 'I’m being left again.' 4. In response, they cling harder, which drives the other further away. ## Higher Purpose The Sensitive-Emotional strategy carries the potential for deep healing through relationship, which is achieved by learning how to stay present while in connection (without losing oneself or overwhelming the other) rather than clinging out of fear. This path invites the person to transform desperation into devotion, performance into presence, and intensity into intimacy. As the early panic begins to settle, they can learn to trust that love can remain even when things go quiet. This can become a journey of great emotional leadership where those with this strategy become someone who feels deeply, relates authentically and helps others to do the same. As they reclaim their right to be held without needing to earn it, their warmth, passion, and sensitivity become gifts that nourish the world. # Working Therapeutically ## Presenting Issues Those with a Sensitive-Emotional strategy often arrive in the therapeutic container in a state of emotional overwhelm. Their system may feel chaotic, dysregulated, or caught in cycles of longing and loss. Much of the time they’re seeking relief from a painful pattern of reaching for connection that never quite settles. Common presenting issues include: - Longing for relationship, accompanied by hurt or frequent tears. - A deep search for the lost parental bond. - Instability in intimacy (in and out of connection). - Feeling flooded by emotion or emotionally reactive. - Drama or intensity in interpersonal dynamics. ## Missing Experiences At the heart of this strategy is a set of [[Missing Experience|Missing Experiences]] that were either inconsistently offered or never fully integrated. What’s often missing: - Safety and trust in relationship. - A steady sense of emotional security and belonging. - Feeling seen in the heart (emotionally understood and received). - A sense of a settled, attuned contact with others. ## Therapeutic Aims Working with this strategy requires the therapist to be emotionally present, grounded, and able to meet the client’s intensity without being overwhelmed by it. The therapist's [[Presence]] becomes a regulating force that helps the client internalise safety in contact. Therapeutic goals may include: - Bringing focus and containment to emotional chaos. - Creating calm through tone, pace, and relational steadiness. - Respecting emotional defences without pathologising them. - Supporting grounding and the development of clear [[Boundaries|boundaries]]. - Resourcing the client before accessing deeper emotional material. - Helping link emotional states to meaning, memory, and self-awareness. - Encouraging reconnection between feeling and body. - Offering sincere warmth, reliability, and validation. - Supporting the client to connect with their own heart space. - Increasing internal coherence through [[Parts]]-based dialogue. - Naming the goodness within, and affirming it as real. - Preparing the client to feel and stay with deeper emotional nourishment. ## Therapeutic Modalities Because this strategy revolves around emotional overflow and relational fear, therapies that support containment, embodied safety, and self-expression can be especially helpful. Some supportive modalities: - Dreamwork. - Art therapy or creative expression. - Writing or journaling. - Massage and touch-based therapies. - Feldenkrais and gentle movement. - Physical exercise (e.g. walking). - Meditation. - Small group or community-based settings. - Tai Chi or Karate. - [[Focusing]]. - EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). ## Probes In the [[Hakomi Method]], probes are emotionally resonant statements designed to test unconscious beliefs or emotional reactions. They help surface the client’s [[Core Material]] and support the exploration of unmet needs. These phrases act like gentle invitations to see what happens in [[Mindfulness]] when a new experience is offered. Some useful probes for this strategy: - “You are welcome here.” - “To love is good.” - “It is safe here.” - “There is a place for you in the world.” - “Your heart is your home.” - “You can relax and be calm in your body.” - “You don’t need to fear what’s inside you.” - “There is love there for you.” - “There’s nothing wrong with you.” ## Experiments Somatic and relational experiments can help a client begin to shift out of their habitual patterns, but only when there’s enough safety and resourcing. Experiments are small, clear, and framed as explorations. Possible experiments for this strategy: - Finding words for physical or emotional sensations. - Identifying a safe place in the body. - Breathing exercises to reduce arousal. - Holding or contacting the Child Within. - Loving contact. - Sitting with longing without trying to resolve it. - Taking over the critical/harsh voices with warmth. - Supportive, firm touch. - Grounding and boundary-strengthening practices. - Self-soothing gestures or tones. - Bringing awareness into the chest or heart area. - Feeling pleasure, warmth, or ease in the heart. - Inviting strength. [^1]: People found these older/alternative names difficult to take in and relate to because they were pathologising. These names evolved through many iterations (and many practitioners) to where they are today so they're easier to engage with. [^2]: This work was created and amalgamated from a variety of resources including [[Body-Centered Psychotherapy by Ron Kurtz]], Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy by Halko Weiss, Greg Johanson & Lorena Monda, Marilyn Morgan and Pat Ogden's work on Character, and various other handouts sourced online.