**\#️⃣ Tags:** #Philosophy #Wisdom #Resistance > **🌱 Planted:** Sat 21 June 2025 --- ![[Change Without Force.png]] > [!quote] > "Going against the grain, using force against a living system is asking for resistance." — [[Ron Kurtz]], [[Body-Centered Psychotherapy by Ron Kurtz|Body-Centered Psychotherapy]]. **Picture this:** You plant a seed, and you’re super keen for it to sprout. A little too keen, perhaps. Instead of tending to it every now and then and being okay with its slow progress, there’s an urgency in you. You really want this thing to grow. So you loom over it every single day, wondering when it will sprout. You don’t realise it, but your looming blocks the sun and the rain from contacting the soil and thus, the seed is unable to receive necessary nourishment. Then, in your frustration, you stand there yelling criticisms at the seed for it not meeting your developmental expectations. The criticisms you yell send the seed the message that it is broken, defective or deficient in some way. From the perspective of the seed, it is as if it is not okay for it to be where it is, how it is, exactly as it is. The seed sprouts, finally. But it doesn’t grow as it should. Its potential doesn’t quite actualise, and as a result its full development has been blocked. The seed goes on to be fine. It survives. It gets by. But deep down, it knows there’s more growth left inside of it. This is exactly what happens in our very own human development. If the conditions aren’t quite right, or if they are overbearing or neglectful in some way, we don’t fully develop how we were meant to either. Within each living or natural system, there is a wisdom and intelligence that acts as a mechanism of self-protection to support the system's innate drive toward self-preservation and wholeness. We can notice this pattern in biology, psychology, social systems and even physics. Which brings me to the central idea here: **in order for change and evolution to take place, no force is required.** # Force The mechanistic worldview that emerged from the scientific revolution taught us to see change as something that happens _to_ systems rather than something that emerges _from_ within them. It is ingrained within us to believe that things only change when we exert a force on them. This has become our default lens for understanding social, organisational, political, spiritual and even personal or spiritual development. Of course, some things do change when we exert a force on them, but when it comes to _living systems_, the opposite is true. # Living Systems We can define a living system as any living thing, also known as organisms, which are self-organising and self-maintaining. Meaning, they inherently direct their own evolution and are capable of healing themselves. Microbes, insects, animals and human beings are living systems. All living systems, whilst obviously very different from one another, hold a singular trait in common: **when force is applied which either threatens the integrity of the organism or tries to change it in ways that are incongruent with its true nature, we’ll find it’ll push back or resist in the name of self-preservation.** If we try to force a flower to bloom faster than it wants to by prying open its petals, we're not going to accelerate its unfoldment, rather we're likely going to end up damaging it. The flower has its own rhythm and pace of development. It will bloom, but only when the conditions are right, and only when it is ready. In other worlds, it'll bloom when we [[Letting Be|let it be and let it unfold]], without any [[Change Agenda|agenda to change it]]. It is no different when it comes to the development of human beings. Because we're conditioned and grow up in what I like to call a conveyor belt society, we're kind of all funnelled into this 'one size fits all' approach to our development and unfoldment. But some of us might need less intensity than the standard system we develop through. Some of us might need more. For some of us, the whole thing might be completely misaligned and incongruent with our [[Presence|True Nature]]. If there's force applied upon us that doesn't align to what we truly are, we will inevitably resist. This resistance, for us as humans anyway, comes in the form of stress, health and psychosomatic issues, i.e. [[Trauma]]. # Contraction We can also apply this thinking to the lens of how we deal with others, and even ourselves. If we as children expressed ourselves openly, freely and spontaneously and then were met with an oppositional force in our environment, say in the form of criticism or rejection, what happens? Well, first of all, we get hurt and we start to develop strategies and protections to ensure that we don't feel that hurt again ([[Parts]]). Secondly, we also contract. This contraction happens on many levels of our being, hurt in the form of emotional pain being one of them. But it also happens in the form of energetic, muscular and spiritual contraction. In the same way that a cell contracts under threat, or a snail retreats into its shell when touched... we literally brace, tense up, curl inwards and contract our life force energy in self-protection. # The Alternative Life just wants to be exactly the way it is. Each living organism simply wants to express its [[Presence|True Nature]]. If a living organism senses a [[Change Agenda]] is being imposed upon it, it will resist and contract. In the same way, we as humans just want to be seen, heard, understood, loved and valued for the exact way we are, including the [[Parts]] of us that contracted as a protection or got hurt. **So then, if we want to effect change but we are not going to use force, what do we use instead?** We use our ability to [[Poetic Attunement|poetically attune]] to the world, and then we appreciate whatever we are experiencing in [[Truth, Beauty & Goodness]] for its own sake. This allows us to cultivate an attitude of [[Letting Be|letting things be and letting them unfold]]. Practically, this means being-with and appreciating others for what they are in the moment, and not wishing or expecting them to be something or someone else. Of course this is sometimes tricky, especially when we're becoming activated by what others are doing. As a coach or therapist, we cultivate a non-judgemental container and safe relational field. Rather than hope (or push) for a certain outcome, we remove any and all of our own expectations and instead use our ability to notice whatever is present. We wait for the right moment to make a move, and we name what's real for the client. When we do this, we are simply honouring what is already growing in the space, what is true and what wants to move and express itself within the client. This is where the magic is. Where change takes place without any need for forcing. And it takes place when we can drop any change agendas we may have and instead just be with whatever is arising in present experience, whether that's with ourselves, others, or any other living organism or system. Because all we are doing is simply naming or aligning with what is true, with no other agenda other than to be-with, be present to, and bear witness. # See Also - [[Resistance blocks our natural unfoldment]] - [[When we resist our experience, we become the resistance]]