**\#️⃣ Tags:** --- > [!quote] > We came into these forms, or awareness entered form again. And once you were in the form, the form interacted with other forms, and you became a form. Usually, the way I say it is, you went into 'somebody training'. You came in as awareness, and then slowly, you were taught: 'I'm Richard'. I was the complementary template on which my parents printed my identity because I was who they thought I was since their consciousness was defining my reality. — Ram Dass. [^1] When we enter this world, we don't know who we are, or really even what we are. Since we're new to this world, we have very few interactions with others as reference points to know or understand this. From our very first moments, our relationships and interactions with our parents or caregivers—particularly with our mother (or mothering figure)[^1]—begin to shape our sense of self, our expectations of others, and how we show up in the world. Object Relations Theory explains how early interactions between baby and caregiver (object relations) become embedded, structured and crystallised in our Psyche as internalised mental representations ("objects"[^2]) of the people who cared for us (or perhaps failed to). The mental representations as result of these early interactions then form the blueprint for how we see ourselves and the world around us. [[Our sense of self unfolds intersubjectively, not separately]], and Object Relations helps us to describe how that takes place. # Origins The theory was initially introduced by psychoanalyst [[Melanie Klein]], which brought with it a fundamental shift away from [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]]'s psychosexual drive theory as the core of psychological development to relationships. Klein suggested that as babies, we are unable to see others as whole, complex beings and instead we divide them into "good" and "bad" objects depending on whether those objects meet our needs or not. People are not perfect beings, and so this means sometimes a mother (or mothering equivalent) might be nurturing and comforting ("good"), and other times she might be rejecting or hostile ("bad"). # How this impacts our development For a baby, this is terribly confusing, so this [[❍ Defence Mechanisms|Defence Mechanism]] known as [[Splitting causes us to become polarised, seeing things as all good or all bad|Splitting]] helps us to manage these conflicting and overwhelming emotions. If these "good" and "bad" objects aren't integrated over time and as we develop, it can lead to us dealing in rigid patterns whilst seeing people and circumstances in extremes (all black, or all white). Essentially [[Splitting causes us to become polarised, seeing things as all good or all bad|Splitting]] can carry on into our adulthood. These internalised "objects" act as blueprints which shape our expectations and behaviours in future relationships. For example, if a child experienced consistent care and love from a caregiver, they might internalise a sense of safety and worth which would later support healthy relationships. But if a child experienced early caregiving that was inconsistent, abusive or neglectful, the child might harbour a distorted self-view and carry a sense of rejection or mistrust into their future relationships. A key aspect of early development is therefore the integration of the "good" and the "bad" objects within both self and others. What this looks like in practice is our ability to maintain stable and consistent emotional connections to the people in our lives, even when they're perhaps not showing up as best as they could or there is conflict—what is known as "object constancy". # Why this matters Object Relations played a huge role in helping us understand how the Psyche and Ego forms and develops, as well as how our current way of being and showing up in the world is influenced by our early relationships. We can start to understand that [[We all have normal emotional needs]] which when [[When our normal emotional needs go unmet, we are left deeply wounded|unmet end up wounding us profoundly]]. This wounding represents the integration of "bad" objects into the structures of our ego and personality, which then goes on to impact the way we view ourselves, the way we view others, and the way we relate to ourselves and others. It gives us insight into why we might repeat unhealthy patterns in our lives and our relationships—even when we know they're hurting us—because we can begin to see that the pain from our own [[❍ Developmental Trauma]] is passed on [[The loss of our personal subjectivity is passed on generationally|generationally]]. And when we can see this, we can start to unlock capacities for self-care, self-love, self-compassion and self-understanding. # Where to next Object Relations contributed massively to the development of the practice and modality we know as [[✦ Parts Work]] today. When we are working with our Parts, we are essentially working with the mental representations (object relations) that become structured and crystallised in our Psyche as ego structures or representations of who we are (or rather who we believe we are). Our development progresses as we become more whole and more integrated (object constancy), and in Parts Work this happens when our Parts are seen, heard, understood, loved and valued for the exact way they are. # Expand - Objects are created in the Psyche through [[❍ Defence Mechanisms]] like [[Introjection is the act of integrating the projections of others into ourselves|Introjection]], [[Identification is the act of taking on someone else's identity as if it were your own|Identification]] and Internalisation. [^1]: The mothering figure doesn't necessarily need to be a mother. The role could be filled by another woman figure, or even a father. [^2]: It is important to note that the term "objects" doesn't refer to the person themselves, rather it refers to the mental representation of that person or relationship, which is also enriched by the child's emotions, feelings and perceptions. [^3]: [[An Introduction to Object Relations by Lavinia Gomez]]