**\#️⃣ Tags:** #Trauma > **🌱 Planted:** Sat 29 March 2025 --- The way we were cared for and held as infants—physically, emotionally, energetically and spiritually—forms the blueprint for how we care for and hold ourselves now as adults. Our caretakers didn't just look after our physical body and meet our physical needs, they also taught us what sensitivity meant, how our [[Developmental Needs|emotional needs]] should be responded to, and whether our experiences were valid or not. Elaine Aron introduces the concept of the "infant/body self" in her book on highly sensitive people, which is the pre-verbal and intelligent sensing part of ourselves that communicates to us through the bodily [[The way we experience ourselves is through the Felt Sense|Felt Sense]] rather than words. Elaine says this infant/body self relies on us as its caretaker as we once relied on our parents, and how we show up and care for it now shows us how we were cared for as infants [^1]. When a sensitive infant is [[Our normal developmental needs are met through empathic attunement and mutual recognition|attuned]] to in such a way by attentive caretakers who know how to respond to subtle cues of distress, they learn their own bodily felt sense and experience is valid, trustworthy and valuable. A secure [[Attachment]] to their caregiver, to themselves and to reality is developed. When they become adults, they are sensitively attuned to themselves in the same way their caregivers were—they can recognise what their body is telling them, honour their needs for rest, and maintain healthy [[Boundaries]] which helps to protect their energy, their integrity and the health of their [[Nervous System|Nervous Systems]]. On the other hand, when caretakers ignore, dismiss or overreact to an infant's spontaneous and natural expression—they were too hot and overbearing, or too cold and absent and thus there wasn't a good enough [[Our caregivers don't need to be perfect, they just need to be good enough|holding environment]]—they learn to distrust their experience and therefore begin to [[Dissociation|Dissociate]] from the experience of their body. An insecure [[Attachment]] to their caregiver, to themselves and to reality is developed. This leads to a fundamental split or disconnect from the ego and the body which as adults, makes it extremely tough for them to hear and understand their own feelings and needs. Put simply, how we are showing up and treating ourselves and our bodies right now now is a portal back in time to how our caregivers showed up and treated us in our early developmental years, because no one else could've taught us such a fundamental lesson on how we should look after ourselves and show up in the world. --- **➡️ Next:** [[]] **⬅️ Back:** [[Our caregivers don't need to be perfect, they just need to be good enough]] [^1]: [[The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron]]