**⏺️ With:** [[Object Relations]] **\#️⃣ Tags:** #Psychology > **🌱 Planted:** Thu 13 February 2025 --- Our self-concept, or our sense of identity, isn't something we are born with, rather it is something that unfolds through our interactions with others (especially our early relationships). The way in which we come to know our sense of identity is through [[The mind can never know reality as it truly is|mental images]]. These images, which form our ego structures, are not fixed or direct representations of who we are, rather they're something that builds up over time as we continue to relate to the people around us. [[Object Relations]] describes how our self-concept is formed through our interactions and relationships. Each interaction is stored in our Psyche as an impression which is made up of[^1]: 1. An **object-representation**, which is our internalised mental image of the other person in the interaction. 2. Our **self-representation**, which is our internalised mental image of ourselves in relation to the object-representation within the interaction. This is how we see ourselves in context of a relationship with someone else. 3. The **affect**, which is our emotional charge of the interaction that links the self-representation and the object-representation. More simply, it's the emotional tone or feeling associated with the interaction between ourselves and whoever else is involved. When we were children, these were the interactions with our parents or caregivers. Later, this expands as we grow up to include all the other people like our extended family, friends, teachers, colleagues and intimate partners. As we have more and more interactions with others as we develop, our self-concept is constantly being updated and is therefore fluid and dynamic rather than something that's fixed. This means it is also something we can change over time as we heal and choose [[Authenticity Over Attachment]]. It is also why we hear clichè sayings such as 'you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with'. # See Also - Since [[The mind can never know reality as it truly is]], and the self-concept is made up of mental representations, [[We can only know who and what we are through direct experience]]. - When our [[Developmental Needs|normal developmental needs]] are met in early development, our sense of self becomes stable and cohesive. [^1]: [[The Void by A. H. Almaas]]