**\#️⃣ Tags:** #Guide #Trauma - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#What Is Traumatic Invalidation?|What Is Traumatic Invalidation?]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#How Does It Happen?|How Does It Happen?]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#What Impact Does It Have?|What Impact Does It Have?]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#Signs, Shadows, and What to Be Aware Of|Signs, Shadows, and What to Be Aware Of]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#What Impact Does It Have?|What Impact Does It Have?]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#The Link Between Traumatic Invalidation and Complex Trauma|The Link Between Traumatic Invalidation and Complex Trauma]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#Tools for Reframing Experience and Healing|Tools for Reframing Experience and Healing]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#See Also|See Also]] - [[Understanding Traumatic Invalidation#Attachments|Attachments]] --- # What Is Traumatic Invalidation? Traumatic Invalidation is a term used to describe the traumatic experience of someone who has gone through extreme and persistent invalidation over the course of their lives. Invalidation becomes traumatic when it happens repeatedly, consistently and occurs on all levels of someone’s existence, which is why it’s referred to as extreme invalidation. > [!quote] Someone on [Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/tjvczg/comment/i1pzn7f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) summed it up pretty nicely > *“It’s when a person is invalidated so often or so badly they start to question their reality, their sanity, or even their right to exist. It’s kind of like erasing a person's person-ness”.* It usually starts from early childhood within the family of origin, and includes a range of invalidating experiences such as constantly being blamed, excluded, criticised, emotionally neglected, controlled, ignored, or misinterpreted. It is then perpetuated and reinforced throughout the person's life by the same people and other relationships who are often well-meaning, but unconsciously unaware of the impact the invalidation is having on the person. In a rather symbolic yet sadly torturous way, society, culture, systems of power and institutions can also contribute to the invalidation over the course of the person's life—it can really be like a case of death by a thousand cuts. ***Figure 1*** [^1] ![[Traumatic Invalidation - 1.webp]] ***Figure 2*** [^1] ![[Traumatic Invalidation - 2.webp]] Together these experiences send the message that the receiving person is worthless, broken, unloved, unimportant, incompetent and doesn’t belong. It leads to complete destruction of a person’s self-worth through the invalidation of their identity, sense of self and reality (see: [[Narcissistic Wounding]]). The term was coined by Dr. Marsha Linehan, the pioneer of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and then further expanded on by Dr. Melanie Harned, who came up with detailed approaches to its healing, as well as Linda Meredith, a [[Developmental Trauma|✦ Complex PTSD]] coach who used the term in context of DBT and PTSD. # How Does It Happen? It would be difficult to map a direct path to Traumatic Invalidation since everyone’s circumstances and experiences are so nuanced and unique, but those who have experienced this are likely to have experienced some form of [[Our caregivers don't need to be perfect, they just need to be good enough|early environmental failure]] where their [[We all have normal developmental needs|normal developmental needs]] went unmet, leading to [[Developmental Trauma]]. # What Impact Does It Have? Experiences of traumatic invalidation can have a real impact on someone’s self-worth, self-esteem and their way of showing up and interacting with others and the world in general. 1. **Symptoms of [[Developmental Trauma|✦ Complex PTSD]]**. 2. **Creates an invalidation cycle:** The very sad part about what makes the invalidation so traumatic is that often the invalidating experiences themselves are also then invalidated, which only leads to worsening of the wound. Then there’s also typically a sensitivity developed to any invalidation (real or perceived) which sets the scene for what feels like an entire lifetime of invalidation. 1. For example, if a child’s reality was invalidated and they went to greater lengths to express their truth by presenting simple facts, but this expression was met with dismissal, criticism, blame or any other further type of invalidating behaviour, this not only deepens the wound but also creates a suffocating cycle that the child cannot get out of. 3. **Causes self-invalidation:** People who have experienced traumatic invalidation often internalise the invalidation and then invalidate themselves in the same way they were invalidated by others. This takes place through complex [[Defence Mechanisms]] such as [[Identification|Identification]], Internalisation, [[Introjection|Introjection]] and [[Projective Identification|Projective Identification]]. 4. **Impacts self-trust:** Traumatic Invalidation teaches people to doubt themselves and their inner world where they’ll often feel like they must rely on others to guide them and make decisions for them. 5. **Leads to unrelenting standards & perfectionism**: People who experience Traumatic Invalidation are usually very tough on themselves while holding themselves to unrealistic standards. Typically, they’ll be overly concerned with ‘doing it right’ and will be rigid in the sense of not leaving themselves with much room for play or exploration. 6. **Impacts self-worth**: There’s often a pervasive sense of insecurity and fear of rejection, so this impacts their ability to trust or feel safe around others, which ultimately impacts their overall sense of self-worth. 7. **Impacts someone’s overall sense of self:** This type of pervasive invalidation over the course of someone’s life can lead to serious impacts to their overall identity, integrity and selfhood. It breeds the core underlying wounds of not feeling like you’re enough, believing you’re inherently bad, feeling different from everyone or feeling out of place or believing you’re inherently broken and something is terribly wrong with you. This can have a huge impact on someone’s sense of self and their ability to successfully [[Individuation|✦ Individuate]]. # Signs, Shadows, and What to Be Aware Of Some common experiences, themes and other noteworthy things to be aware of in relation to Traumatic Invalidation. 1. **It’s difficult to identify:** Trauma experienced from Traumatic Invalidation is essentially repeated and intense emotional and psychological neglect, so children from these invalidating environments quite literally don’t know any other reality where they aren’t dismissed, minimised and invalidated. This can make it really tough to identify, especially since people who experience it internalise the invalidation, often have their responses to invalidating experiences also invalidated (cycle of invalidation), and then become extremely sensitive to subsequent events leading to re-triggering of their traumas or emotional flashbacks. These people truly struggle to identify when someone has treated them poorly (including their own feelings about the event) and struggle even more to stand up for themselves or come to terms with the idea that they’re actually entitled to feel the way they do. 2. **Recognising it as trauma is a challenge:** Not only is it difficult for someone to identify, when working with therapists and other professionals, people who have experienced Traumatic Invalidation typically minimise, downplay and discount their traumatic experiences, often feeling like their reaction to these experiences are invalid, unwarranted and overexaggerated—validating that they are indeed weak, oversensitive and wrong. This pervasive type of self-abandonment can be difficult to overcome. 3. **Unlearning self-invalidation and re-learning self-compassion:** Traumatic invalidation often teaches people to criticise and invalidate themselves just like others did—they assume their feelings, thoughts, and actions are wrong, thinking they are unacceptable as people. On top of this, these people tend to have strong inner critics who hold them to unrelenting standards and perfectionism in order to avoid further rejection. It is really important for these people to do things such as double taking on the facts, discussing things with people who are safe and begin to practice more self-compassion and approaching themselves with loving kindness, self-encouragement and self-validation. 4. **Grieving the deep pain of what could’ve been:** Those who have gone through Traumatic Invalidation describe feeling like their presence was unwanted and like they were unloved for who they truly were deep in their hearts. It’s not uncommon for these people to try to change themselves in the attempt to gain love and acceptance, but even then they still faced rejection and invalidation. This leads to a pervasive, underlying and deep sadness in which they’ve learnt to suppress by acting indifferent or preferring to be alone. This is why it’s very important they have their experiences validated (either through themselves or help) as this provides access to the healing process, which involves accepting and grieving this deep pain of what could’ve been. 5. **Learning to trust their inner compass:** Experiences have taught people of Traumatic Invalidation that their instincts, values, beliefs, reality, perceptions and way of orienting to the world is wrong, hence it is really important for those recovering from traumatic invalidation to learn not to continue on being someone they’re not—alignment is very important for them. Obviously this is much easier said then done when they’re likely to find it difficult to know who they are and what they want. Over time and as healing progresses, they’ll learn more balance between asking for help versus doing things on their own, how to make more of their own decisions and how to stand up for themselves. As healing progresses, they’ll realise what once felt like severe lack and deficiency was mask for their innate wholeness and resourcefulness. 6. **Subbing out invalidating environments for validating ones:** A critical part of the healing process for these people is to find validating environments in which they feel safe, heard, seen, accepted and valued for who they are—not invalidated or rejected for who they are not. There may be an adjustment period where they may want to take time to contemplate and clarify their values and virtues, while learning how to protect themselves from feeling walked over such as saying no to things they don’t want to do, disagreeing with people who have different opinions to them and backing themselves to express their true needs, values and preferences. This process really helps them understand what truly matters to them and who they want to be, as well as recognise which people in their environment respond positively or negatively to these qualities. If they discover that certain people in their lives are disapproving or invalidating, or have mismatched values and interests, they will do well to readjust and seek out new relationships and communities that better align with them. # The Link Between Traumatic Invalidation and Complex Trauma The book "Treating Trauma in Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Melanie S Harned" drew a link between Traumatic Invalidation and PTSD where they state that the trauma experienced from Traumatic Invalidation is just as distressing (if not more) than Criterion A traumas used to formally diagnose PTSD. [^2] > [!question] What is Criterion A in the DSM-5? > In order to be formally diagnosed for PTSD, the [[DSM-5]] requires specific criterias to be met, Criterion A being one of them: > > **Criterion A (1 required):** The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, in the following way(s): > > - Direct exposure > - Witnessing the trauma > - Learning that the trauma happened to a close relative or close friend > - Indirect exposure to aversive details of the trauma, usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, medics) Therapists discovered if they did not consider trauma from invalidation, they would not only miss a significant cause of PTSD symptoms for many of their clients but would also contribute to further invalidation and therefore further traumatic experiences. > [!quote] > *“Although invalidation is typically not a Criterion A trauma, these experiences can be traumatic* > *when they are experienced as intensely emotionally and psychologically painful and have lasting adverse effects on the person’s self-concept and functioning”.* The book seemed to take Traumatic Invalidation quite seriously based on their research and treatment with clients, even going as far to say that severe cases of traumatic invalidation by parents or caregivers and intimate partners was “as or more harmful than sexual and physical violence in terms of its impact on PTSD and other mental health outcomes”. > [!quote] > “Research has found that childhood traumatic invalidation (e.g., bullying, controlling, insulting, excluding, isolating) causes comparably severe PTSD symptoms as sexual and physical abuse, as well as equally or more severe problems in other areas (e.g., self-injurious behaviors, substance use, skipping school, generalized anxiety, depression, attachment problems; Spinazzola et al., 2014)”. People who experienced this often reported PTSD symptoms of intrusive memories, avoidance, frequent negative emotions (guilt or shame), distorted negative beliefs about themselves and hypervigilance to future invalidating events. It was noted that the PTSD symptoms were sometimes resultant of a single and extreme invalidating event, but more often were due to the cumulative effect of enduring hundreds if not thousands of invalidating events over their lifetime such as environments that were hyper-critical, controlling and emotionally neglectful. Although the book doesn’t specifically reference [[Developmental Trauma|✦ Complex Trauma]] or Complex PTSD, it did address PTSD directly whether in a one-off shock trauma capacity or a repeated trauma capacity, so there's much overlap. # Tools for Reframing Experience and Healing > [!info] > To do... # See Also - [[Narcissistic Family|Narcissistic Family Systems]] and [[Family Enmeshment|Enmeshed Family Systems]]. - The [[Identified Patient|Identified Patient]]. - [[Developmental Trauma]] - [[Attachment]] - [[Attunement]] # Attachments ## Traumatic Invalidation Handouts These handouts come from Treating Trauma in Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Melanie S Harned and can be used to help in contemplating the impacts of Traumatic Invalidation. ![[Traumatic Invalidation - 3.webp]] ![[Traumatic Invalidation - 4.webp]] [^1]: Treating Trauma in Dialectical Behavior Therapy by Melanie S Harned [^2]: [PTSD and DSM-5 - PTSD: National Center for PTSD](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/essentials/dsm5_ptsd.asp#:~:text=Criterion%20A%20(1%20required)%3A,close%20relative%20or%20close%20friend)